Correction: Don’t go chasing worries! Sometimes, worries wash over us like waterfalls. The sheer force and speed with which situations occur and increase can be overwhelming. We have all come face to face with troublesome circumstances, some of which we are responsible for creating. What separates us, however, is how we handle them.
Have you ever placed yourself in a position or given yourself responsibilities that no one ever asked you to fill? I’ve been doing that most of my adult life. I convinced myself after my mother’s death that I needed to fill her shoes. I needed to make sure that my family remained a cohesive unit, so I took on the role of caregiver. I even created a job title, family manager. I made it a full time gig. I tried to take on the worries for everybody. I worried about things that didn’t worry anybody else. I created worries for myself that were not necessary. I chased worries.
Anyone who follows me on social media knows that I love my clan. My posts are often more about my family than myself. I am the queen of family event planning, no one loves a Gilmore Family Challenge like me! That love runs deep and I’m creating a legacy for that next generation, the next family manager. But something has changed, for the better! I’m managing my worries, being selective about what is allowed to consume my energy.
Dad and I would have these long conversations about…everything. More often than not, after we had gone round after round on the subject, we came to the same conclusion. “It doesn’t even matter.” Not that the issues lacked importance, we simply did not need to consume our time and energy with worrying about things that would work themselves out.
Everything does not need my attention. My loves are independent and capable. I don’t have to drop everything and run if somebody sneezes. And, there are things that even I can’t fix. (Well, there goes my Olivia Pope persona!)
In Year 46, I’m reminding myself of my parents’ advice, just pray about it! What is the point of praying and then worrying? Prayer and worry are like water and oil, they don’t mix. Simply, do one or the other!